I have been contemplating over one question for a few days, “What is my purpose here and how do I truly desire to live my life? What brings me a true sense of happiness?”
I am going through some internal transition, where some unnecessary layers of needing to define everything are falling apart. Honestly, this change feels liberating. What triggered this shift?
A couple of days back, a person contacted me on my Instagram and he started talking about how he was feeling low. He has been dealing with depression and it has been on and off for a while. I didn’t ask him to book a session; I rather guided him in the best way possible on doing some inner healing. But it somehow seemed that no matter what I suggested, he wasn’t listening. He had created a comfort zone within his pain and numbness, and he wasn’t yet at the desperate verge of, “Enough is enough! I truly wanna be happy and I want to know how.”
I used to be a weak empath and if this interaction had happened a few years back, I would have absorbed all his emotions and felt responsible for his feelings. But I no longer relate to that vibration. The current person I’m now is very much into self-love and inner healing. I get to the root cause of every negative feeling, and ask myself, “Why and how can I make myself feel good right now? How can I compassionately nurture myself?”
I teach quite a lot about these concepts on my Instagram account. Getting back to the incident- I eventually told that person that I could help no more, and I had already provided him with all the mantra he needed to self-heal.
The same day, another person contacted me about depression. And it was a different experience talking to him because unlike the first person, he actually wanted to change and feel better. He desired to understand what he was going through.
I mostly do not ask people to immediately book a reading with me, because initially I just want them to establish a deeper connection with their inner self. I encourage them back to nature, meditation, journaling about their inner child, needs, and expectations from life, some good spiritual content, etc. I show them the path to heal and despite doing all the suggested steps, if they don’t feel good inwardly, that’s when I want to guide them.
Something stirred within me after those last two interactions. I asked myself, “Do I want to work with people personally? If yes, what kind of people do I desire to guide? How can I articulately lay down the preliminary steps of self-healing on Instagram and youtube, so that people could establish their connection to spirituality?” Because I do not feel called by my soul to work with each and everyone as a counselor.
I’m more drawn to energy healing through sacred geometry and ancient star magic. I have been practicing it every day so that I could offer it when I’m ready. My heart pines for something deeper, dipped in otherworldly enchantment and alchemy, which can be used to strengthen our connection with Mama Gaia and the stars. I don’t feel the need to be consistently in either my emotional body or others’ because that isn’t my vibration anymore.
I asked God, “Why does it always feel like I fit nowhere? Why do I feel so detached these days from worldly affairs?” The more I begin to love God, the more I find myself disinterested in earthly attachments. God answered back, “You are here to find your inner joy, live it fully, and show people how to do it for themselves. Your joy is not bound by any labels. You are a free soul and you’re here to guide people back to their magical roots.” I felt this intimately in my soul and my heart chakra expanded with a unique awareness.
I feel like I’m transmuting quite a lot of terrestrial energies. I’m going so much against the mainstream idea of success and earning money in a traditional way that I don’t know what awaits me. I desire to be in union with God, and I’m letting him strip off my unhealthy ego and fear of not being enough.
Hence, in conclusion, I might focus more on creating self-help content for people on platforms like Instagram and youtube, so that they can find their own connection to spirituality. I’m also thinking of offering tarot readings back again on my website, and help people do a bit of shadow work through my messages. I might also create tarot decks for myself, which I might put up for sale later on my website. Meanwhile, I will build up my energy healing skills, so that I can offer that service with confidence at some point.
Much love and Namaste!