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Scorpionic themes from my personal life!

This blog post might be a little on the raw side of sexuality, sensuality and scorpionic themes. I’m currently learning to be more expressive and open with my ideas and perceptions through my art and writing.

My moon is in Scorpio in the Anuradha nakshatra, sun in Cancer in Pushya nakshatra, and a major 12th house stellium in Leo (Magha nakshatra) with the tight conjunction of Mars, Venus and Mercury. Owing to these placements, I’m a highly passionate person with very intense emotions, drive and desires. However, these placements also lend me the inner nature of secrecy, solitude, and not wanting to be easily vulnerable.

Over years of inner work and trying to understand myself, I’ve realised that it’s not that I distrust everybody and don’t want to open up. But rather, I’ve a tough wall, and it would take a certain magical person to melt that invisible barrier outside my heart. I have strong fire and water in my birth chart, and possibly I channel that side mostly to my work. But when it comes to dealing with others, I predominantly show them my airy and earthy side: the logical, rational, balanced side of me, who has sorted out their emotions.

Probably, on many levels I do have my emotions sorted out, but beneath all that levelheadedness, I have a very fiery and watery nature, where I secretly wish to be seen and understood emotionally: some place where I can be raw, vulnerable, unbound about all my desires and passion; some place where the other person involved actually knows what I mean when I talk about something beyond normal spectrum. That’s very Scorpionic of me!

I can read people easily when I want to. If I am curious about somebody, I pay attention to the smallest of things they do and not do. I observe the things they talk about, the things they like and support on social media, how they act in public; I try to read the energy behind scenes; the psychological triggers; what fascinates them or makes them cringe. Does it sound stalkerish? Maybe! But for me, it’s simply the way to know somebody deeply and gather information, because it gives me a firm analysis of compatibility between us.

And honestly, I like someone who equally tries to study me deeply in a healthy way- uncover my layers one at a time, because that gives me the indication that they took their time to get to know me. It’s a love language for me.

I am very accepting of the duality that resides within us. I can be seriously obsessed with someone on some inexplicable octave, but I can still understand and accept that we are different in terms of our values, and may not work well together.

It’s a different story although if I become obsessed with someone, and the person actually turns out to be highly compatible with my inner nature. I may probably not hold myself back on an emotional level with that person, and be more colorful and direct about the topics which I never communicate with other people.

For all the years I’ve lived, I’ve always felt misunderstood and unseen by most of them around me. Only a few are able to fathom me energetically, emotionally, spiritually to an extent, and I’ve kind of made peace with that fact by now. If it happens, it’s good. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. Probably this very feeling of deep loneliness pushed me on the path of spiritual evolution, where I learned to love and accept myself for who I am, and devote all that passion to Krsna.

In my past, I might have tried to look for that intensity in other people. It’s difficult to explain the level of intimacy I crave, but let me try to simplify. Two snakes coiling together and becoming one; owning each other’s soul in a good way, but aiming for higher consciousness through that union; Prakriti and Purusha coming together; a love that feels beyond the bodies and minds; seeking depth, but letting that enigma transform each other, and bring them closer to their ‘Atman’ and eventually to the Supreme.

I have not found anyone like that so far.

I have met people with whom I had my moon conjunct Pluto contact in synastry. Also, their moon fell in my 7th house, which is Pisces. I strangely feel very drawn to them. They may not be my usual type, but beyond those standards, I would feel their energy strongly in my bones. There have been some with whom I had my Mars, Venus conjunction in synastry.  These kind of connections have been a little obsessive for me, and I wonder if I was projecting my inner desires on them mentally.

I never spoke to any of them about what was going on inside my heart, because duh! Scorpio tendencies to hide emotions. But whatever I felt for them never went away. I must have rationalized and taken a practical outlook on how to go about it, but even after the years passed, my feelings kind of never faded. 

The plutonian contact connections were very intense for my heart, and since they were in contact with my moon, they brought up to my awareness my hidden emotional requirements- wanting to be seen, validated and intensely loved by my partner.

Since these desires have always lurked within my subconscious as they never got fulfilled, I might have subliminally projected these fantasies on the person who I was obsessed with – not hoping for anything in return, but simply for the sake of emotional stimulation. It doesn’t really matter to me how many feelings I have for someone and on what level; if there’s no action or even an honest communication to bare out the soul, I learn to let it go with grace.

Probably, it may still be in my awareness but I don’t value inaction from the person I’m interested in figuring out.

Having Leo Venus in my birth chart makes some of my love languages as words of appreciation, physical touch, sensual getaways, sweet, cozy but thoughtful gestures of love. But then being a Leo mars, I equally appreciate it when someone takes strong, bold actions for me beyond mere words. It’s a turn on! 

I can easily say that I have a balance of masculine and feminine sides inside. When in public, I act more from my masculine side because I feel awkward showing my sensitive feminine side. Some traces may be visible, but a major chunk of it stays hidden. My femininity shows better in intimate settings, when I see someone has taken the time to love and nurture me intentionally, with full devotion and attention.

However, I still have many layers till one reaches my soft core. Maybe it’s a protection mechanism. I’m not scared of being hurt but maybe scared of being misinterpreted. It feels really heart-wrenching when you are up there revealing your soul to the other person, but their love language and communication style is so different that your message just doesn’t get through.

Then it becomes either an ego battle, miscommunication or a cold response to something delicate. I can read it energetically:  how much someone is willing to dive in deep into things which matter to me. If their interest seems fake or superficial, I don’t waste my efforts over- explaining how I feel.

I think I’ve kind of become okay with this aspect over time; maybe it’s not my path to meet someone who would understand me in human ways. Maybe it still is my path, but I don’t need to care about that much, and simply stay detached and focused on my dharma. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to surrender to Krsna because he knows me for all that I have been right from the start.

Probably the hole, the emptiness and loneliness which I felt years back and maybe slightly feel now and then, is not meant to be filled by any human. And this has allowed my idea of love to transcend by seeing a husband in Krsna.

This might sound odd and maddening to someone who has never experienced the life-long loneliness my heart has gone through. The closeness I look for is not superficial. It’s a piercing and purifying involvement. The kind of love or connection where I get to say,” I had been looking for you all my life, and now I know what I was missing”.

When I was desperately looking for that soul intimacy in someone outside, I had drifted to a very dark place of codependency, addiction, depression, feeling unbalanced, losing my will to live, not seeing my purpose in life.

But when I filled that huge hole in my heart with the love of Krsna, I got initiated to a totally opposite path- from hopelessness to feeling super-grounded, living aligned with my destiny and higher calling, accepting human connections for what they are, cultivating healthy detachment, etc.

I realized that a powerful love can really bring huge change within the hearts of the people involved. Love doesn’t pull you down, but it inspires you to constantly evolve in connection with the divine. 

So, I don’t fully agree with the idea of “falling in love”. There’s no falling, but a desire to dance, to rise up in love because both beings understand each other’s beauty and want to bring out the best in each other. There’s a time to be more expressive about each other’s trauma and pain, but beyond that, love is also expansive, liberating and timeless.

I don’t feel that the love which is simply based on trauma-sharing is healthy, because how long can you go about discussing pain? Once you have reached the threshold, there has to be some transformation otherwise it will stagnate. The kind of love where both people have shared values, have a similar love language, and have an acceptance, hold space for each other’s ego, and encourage to be absolutely authentic is gold.

And I haven’t found that in any human connection I have had so far. But in Krsna I found it. Probably, that’s why I have stopped needing anyone to fill me up. 

I mostly operate on my masculine side to cloak up my soft side, but when it comes to love, I like it when I’m allowed to take my feminine side, where I receive warmth, intimacy, care; where I’m allowed to act like a child from time to time; where I’m spoiled with sweet gestures. When I notice that someone is putting thoughtful efforts in loving me, I naturally go in my generous mode, and feel like giving more of my time and attention in making them feel special.

But when someone doesn’t try to understand and observe my love language, and wants me to over-explain my needs, and yet not do much about it, I go back in my shell emotionally: being outwardly present with the person but deep inside feeling aloof and uninterested. 

My love for Krsna is on the line of Bhakti and Tantra. Ever since I focused on connecting to him personally, my creative gifts have exploded. I feel like doing Shringaar, nurturing my feminine side, because I want to please him, make myself look beautiful for him.

I kind of feel that covertly most of the women desire to be praised, appreciated, loved for their beauty by their partners, the one who they have devoted their hearts to. If somehow she has become disconnected from that aspect of hers, it’s probably because someone made her feel unseen/unloved whether within her family/friends or her partner, or she had become too wrapped up in her responsibilities that she isn’t able to find time to nurture herself.

 Looking after and beautifying one’s body is an art of patience and deep intimacy with oneself. When we as women adorn ourselves, we ask ,”Who are we doing it for?” 

Probably the answer “myself” doesn’t always feel enough. I might go lazy if I am simply doing it for myself. But I might want to look good for someone special, to be in my seductive and sensual element to catch their eye, and feel desirable.

I really see partnership and love as a healthy form of worship, passion, pure emotions, loyalty and respect for each other. I know that the Leo quality within me would treat the better half like a king with undying love, provided I receive the same.

And since I have never really met a person who brings out my surrendered feminine energy, I chose a long time back to offer that place in my heart to Krsna, for he is perfect to me. He gets all of me, without any exception. I can cry, be childish when I want to, spoil him with all my love and devotion all that I want to, or be too work-obsessed, deep in my mental energy and not pay much attention to him, and I would still be accepted by him.

I see him as my eternal lover who now occupies something inaccessible inside me which will never go away. For years, the lack of deep emotional/passionate love from someone else made me dry from inside out. I despised my body and felt maybe, I didn’t deserve love. I used to doubt if I was attractive enough.

But now that I offer my body, mind and soul to Krsna, I have a different kind of confidence within myself. I know who I am. I know what I need. I know that I’m attractive and the qualities I possess, and the facets that I need to work on. It’s a different kind of power that I walk in, because I feel loved by him.

I usually don’t write and share such stuff because I rationalize my own emotions at times, and stay stoic for the discomfort of vulnerability. But I’m learning; this is another form of strength too- to be completely genuine in one’s creative expression.

If I put a lid on all my intensity, I might take away a huge chunk of who I am and who I’ve the potential to be. So I’m working on bringing out my feminine side through all mediums of creativity, and not always being practical and sorted. 

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How to pick the perfect spiritual advisor for you?

When we start deepening our understanding of spirituality, and the reason it’s important for us to evolve as a soul, we also start gravitating towards certain tools like crystals, tarot, astrology, etc. to grow our inner awareness.

Now, I do not approach these tools as necessary but they can play a great role in self-reflection and assessment of our patterns, limiting beliefs, areas of improvement, destiny, past life baggage, etc. When someone approaches these tools constantly with the mindset of mundane predictions or seeking validation to stay stuck in unhealthy situations, they are not really looking for inner growth. Their focus is purely material world illusion based. And that’s okay! Not everyone seeks mystical experiences within a lifetime. 

But if you are truly looking for innermost expansion, it’s necessary to understand that the reservoir of wisdom is always within you, and you are approaching these tools only to confirm what you already know in your deep heart and psyche. Any kind of tool should help you identify your impediments and untapped potential, and encourage you to work with other energies beyond your comfort zone, as that’s the key factor to strengthen your areas of weakness.

This doesn’t mean that you should be a perfect human and should never make mistakes. It simply indicates that experience it, and cultivate more wisdom by being open to newness.

What do I suggest when someone wants to find a genuine astrologer or tarot reader or any sort of holistic healer?

I encourage doing a thorough study of their work and the content they put out. Do not simply get influenced by the number of followers, the over-hyping comment section, other social factors. However, do a detailed study of what they create, and ask yourself if you connect with their work. This tip helps people who have good discernment skills.

However, if you haven’t really reached a state to identify what feels or doesn’t feel right to you, it’s always acceptable to go to someone who has a balanced perspective on spirituality and practicality. I’m not talking about the mainstream spirituality where people try to fit each other in certain labels, constantly promote love, light, endless positivity, and don’t take accountability of their shadows and personal development. I’m rather talking about going to someone who has a broad outlook of everything, and realizes that we are multi-dimensional in every sense; someone who holds integrity in their words, actions and teaching.

For example, I do not advice anything that I haven’t fully practiced and understood the importance of. I’m aware that being a human, I will always have something further to encounter and integrate. So whatever I don’t know or don’t personally practice, I stay honest about it. But there’s a lot more that I embody and understand in my daily life, and that’s what I can teach. My lessons revolve more around listening to one’s inner voice and focusing less on external noise. Not every teacher or healer is the right pick for you.

Some people can also drift towards healers who give deeper context of spiritual and religious practices, and less of practical know-how. Everything is good as long as you know what you need.

Let their work, their ideas speak to you. Sit with their work and ask yourself, “How do I feel about it? Would I really like to take advice or gain wisdom from this person?” You will always know if you pay attention to subtle signals and vibrations within you.

My style of guiding anyone is very rational and spiritual at the same time. I follow my heart and passion when it comes to my work. I’m very connected to the divine, but I also use the wisdom I receive to be of service to people in a practical sense. My virgo rising and Capricorn saturn contributes to that nature.

I’m still learning many things, building my foundation slowly, and I can’t wait to see how everything connects many years later. 

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Letting go and forgiveness!

I’m grieving: grieving the loss of a connection near and dear to my heart; a connection that I had always known was hugely karmic in nature because I grew so much spiritually just by being in this connection. The person never taught me directly a single word, but the amount of karma I paid by being around him, the emotional healing, forgiveness lessons I had to learn were immense.

Talking about this itself is sensitive to me. The reason I haven’t fully moved out of this connection is because I know I still owe the person something in this physical world- no longer emotional/ mental ties, but very transactional and practical in nature, to completely dissolve the karma. 

Ending relationships is not always black and white. Sometimes a certain connection mirrors back to us what we really need in order to feel loved, heard and seen. We start seeing all those places where we haven’t given love to our heart, where we are blocking ourselves, holding anger, resentment because something just doesn’t feel right. When we see all that, we set intentions about what we want next to come in. We prioritize our needs and desires. And then we be patient while waiting for that to step in our lives. Meanwhile, we continue focusing on our soul’s evolution.

I’m good at cutting people off where I don’t find equal reciprocation. But in few connections, I’ve to stay more strategic and diplomatic in terms of how I end them gradually. They don’t happen overnight because several factors are interconnected, but the realization definitely hits that something has ended internally, and there’s nothing left inside to give. And when that awareness comes, there also comes grief, the pain of letting go, meanwhile also forgiving the person involved for the emotional trauma they have caused.

I’m someone that doesn’t really hold grudge against people, and no matter who has hurt me where, I never wish bad upon them. But it definitely takes time to heal the anger, discontent, bitterness because they are very valid feelings. They make us human, and when we understand the root cause of it, we also begin understanding that we cannot latch onto them forever.

Even though it’s hard, at some point forgiveness has to be embraced, to release all the pain, the suffocation, the blockage in the heart.

Probably this is one of the most vulnerable posts I’ve ever written because my scorpio moon doesn’t feel comfortable be so open about my private life. But I feel this post was necessary today for my sake, for my emotional salvation, for me to forgive the person, for me to grieve as much as I have to, but also realize that some things are not meant to be, despite trying our best.

I cannot be exasperated and wounded because of someone forever. I’ve to forgive, reach a certain level of detachment, serve my karmic debt to that person till whenever Krsna intends and then leave with gratitude. That’s the ending I desire.

I’m actually thankful to that person in many ways because they indirectly illuminated me on how to be grounded and wise in my emotional body. I was so used to numbing my emotions 5 years back. But when this person came to my life, through presenting me extremely difficult challenges of abandonment, slight narcissism, emotional unavailability, selfishness, he triggered me to heal myself, because I was in the void and I had no option, but to fill my cup with self-love.

This person came at a point when I wasn’t emotionally mature. But he appeared as a teacher, to push me to embody my highest self. I’m still in the process of many things but I’ve also done tremendous inner-work because of those sentimental scars.

I’m becoming ready to forgive him, and move on when I see Krsna’s signal. I will stay on the lookout. But I’m grateful for all that I’ve learned in this connection, and there’s nothing more left to give and take. So, I will let this pain transform me into a more authentic expression of my soul.

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A world without Faith

(P.S: This is an original art. Please be respectful when using it anywhere, to give the due credit. Thank you!)

This article might come across as an unpopular opinion. It’s absolutely okay not to agree with my outlook, and you can keep that awareness to yourself. I don’t operate from a desire to be liked or validated by anyone. I’m here to merely state the truth in my heart, my deeper perception of the cosmic line of events, and how I blend all of them to enhance my wisdom and spirituality.

For me, being spiritual has got less to do with tarot cards, astrology, crystal collections, labels, etc, and a lot to do with the connection my spirit forms with the greatest spirit of all, God. My spirit is an essence of the “Sat-chit-ananda”, the pure bliss consciousness.

No matter what religion, race, caste, creed you come from, I honor you. I see you as a soul. It’s just one God! Different religions have given him different names, but he is one. We all belong to the oneness. We come from his consciousness. However, we cannot attain that level of purity without putting in extra, dedicated efforts to our inner growth. We all have been given free will and in order to truly understand God’s consciousness, we have to exercise awareness and mastery of thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. Our actions likewise have to be aligned with our soul’s true nature and the unhealthy ego has to dissolve.

Everything is interconnected. Nevertheless, we should also learn the ability to segregate the details and see something for what it is, without adding our subjective judgment or emotional charge. I carry the remembrance of some of my past lives and reincarnation. I know I’ve lived for a long time on earth and I carry that ancientness in my blood.

My ancestors are always watching me, guiding me to break free from any generational or past life trauma that comes through. My heart has always felt drawn to learning any skill from the scratch or referring to the ancient texts/methods for furthering my practice. People were simple back then, more connected to nature and the divine.

We have come a long way in terms of external technological development. Different varieties of food, more processed and junk meals, gadgets, and tools to ease down our lives, vehicles for transportation, etc. But who’s to say if that’s actually development? What exactly is development?

We have become so overly-reliant on something outside to take care of us, that we have started ignoring our inner knowing. Our body is technology. Our brain is a supercomputer. Our third eye can see things not only of physical but also metaphysical nature. This madness of consumption of unhealthy, processed foods; addiction to gadgets, social media; living a fast-paced life where there’s no regard for the body’s natural cycle; suppression of emotions and excessive engagement in drugs, liquor, meaningless sex, porn- somehow they get classified as modern world development.

We are in Kali Yuga. The collective consciousness is meant to go down the path of inner and outer destruction so that they could the flaws in their behavior: how disconnected they have become from God’s path. As the Kali Yuga will end, Dwapara yuga will commence.

We all know how the virus situation has created a mass panic in the entire world right now. People are blaming and snitching on others who do not wear masks, without having an objective understanding of what’s going on behind the scenes. During this transformational time, I saw the deepest fears of everyone come to the forefront. People who are already compromised internally have given into their demons.

I do not see demons as bad. If anything, they are necessary to show you what needs renewal within your consciousness. The majority of the people hate demons and darkness and run away from them because they still operate from duality: good and bad, right and wrong, moral and immoral, rich and poor, etc. Duality is a great concept for the mind shrouded by ego, but it doesn’t serve any fulfillment once you start moving towards higher dimensional perception.

In truth, you cannot run away from anything that shows up at your door. Sooner or later, you will have to face it. The lessons you resist will always find its way back to you, to reveal to you something profound.

During this mass pandemonium, I had to hold back my thoughts and insights. I was afraid of sharing them on social media platforms because I feared I would be attacked verbally, mentally by people who are still in their sweet spiritual slumber. But, I no longer want to feel responsible for how I trigger people. I can just be your mirror for some deep introspection. Whether you take offense or agree with my statement, it’s solely up to where you stand in your spiritual path.

When someone is unconscious spiritually and entrenched deeply in the material world illusion, it’s easier for that person to blame others for unfavorable circumstances in one’s life. That person governed by low vibrational patterns and programming will feel inclined to see others responsible for its pain, suffering and attachment.

However, once that person takes the path of self-realization and forms a connection to the multidimensionality of the universe, one realizes that there is no one to blame for whatever has played out in its life. Blame, shame and guilt get replaced by the accountability of life choices. God gets humbly invited within as a permanent soul partner. It becomes a constant quest of deepening self-awareness through not only probing into the hidden psychological spectrum but also seeing it from a higher perspective. Duality diminishes because there’s cognizance of all the light and dark present inside.

It’s a self-mastery to hold peace and zen when the world inside and outside is crumbling apart. Death and disease: their roots go deeper than what we see superficially. Our physical bodies are mortal, but our souls are eternal. There’s a term called Prarabdha in Upnishads, which means your destiny in this lifetime and your accumulation of past lives karma(action and results). Everything that’s meant to happen for you already exists; it is pre-written.

The paths you would take, the detours you would encounter, it all exists in the now. The ego and brain might think they can trick the destiny and go down an unwritten path. Strange enough, that trickery is also a part of your soul’s lesson. God knows and sees it all. He has created all the experiences simply for your soul’s ascension.

A soul challenged by extreme physical reality conditions can only find solace and ease of burdens when it completely surrenders its existence to God, and realize that it is being taught an intense karmic lesson by Saturn.

Saturn represents the cold, harsh teacher in astrology who offers us experience, patience, and perseverance in our struggles and pain. It shows us the gift of detachment and acceptance. When we don’t give up on the lesson and stay humble, connected to God through that phase, we receive pleasant karmic blessings.

People get offended when karma gets talked about because their perception is linear. Let us stop weighing on a scale of “good” or “bad”. We can honestly never know entirely who we were in a past life and what karma we carry. Some information is hidden knowingly even though gifted with psychic powers so that it doesn’t overwhelm the soul. It’s also an act of remembrance that we are bound to cycle of reincarnations until we actively start pursuing a truer connection to God, and strive to attain him in life or death. The chase of material possessions, status symbol, having family, kids will have to go away.

When faced with the winter of life, people tend to lose faith in God. They tend to question, “If he really existed, wouldn’t he take care of my needs all the time? Could he not prevent this tragedy from happening?” These questions remind me of the incident that took place with Krishna and Uttang rishi after the war of Kurukshetra.

Uttang rishi expected that Krishna as the godhead he is, would have prevented the war and mass destruction from happening. Krishna replied that he tried his best to prevent the annihilation, but he was not successful. Uttang rishi was furious and angrily asked him the reason he couldn’t use his divine power to stop the war.

Krishna humbly said it’s all a part of the cosmic play. He has given everyone free will to choose higher consciousness. He cannot interfere with the free will of people and the decisions they make. He can guide them to a path in their greatest good, but they have to take action accordingly. He looks after the Dharma in the universe, and he would only take extreme steps when there’s no one left to protect the cosmic justice.

The same analogy applies to our lives. We blame God for all of our problems, yet we forget about his presence in our everyday activities. A true devotee is someone who carries God in its heart in all moments: happiness, sadness, joy, grief, love, sex, etc. Our presence on earth has to become a prayer rather than thinking it belongs just to temples, mosques, churches, or other institutions.

God is aware of all your thoughts, crippling fears, rejections, feelings, prayers, past, present, and future. There’s nothing hidden from him because you are an essence of him. In the modern world, the majority of people have come to think they are greater than God’s will. Hence, they control, manipulate, cheat, cause harm to others for personal gains. There’s a clear disconnection from one’s intuitive wisdom, which is how God speaks to all of us. There’s a lack of faith in our sacredness and bodily intelligence. Greed, cut-throat competition, insensitivity, jealousy, toxic masculinity, and femininity has taken over, leaving no room to include fresh perspectives.

People get scared of disease, but they don’t understand how diseases don’t suddenly make an appearance in our bodies. The more emotional and psychological blockages we hold, the more they clutter and manifest as a clear sign in our physical bodies. Now, there are definitely exceptions to this theory. We see some kids born with anomalies or specific conditions. Here, they don’t carry any karma from the current lifetime. To understand this further, one needs to dive deep into the past reincarnations and the concept of “Prarabdha”.

One can realize partially that the anomaly is either a result of past life deeds, or God wants some healing to occur either within the child itself or the family in which it is born. It can be physical, mental, or emotional healing. The reason will always be situational, and one explanation doesn’t fit all scenarios. Only open-mindedness and complete faith in the divine can bring forth “larger than life” solutions.

If a virus suddenly creates disease in your body, it can only happen when you are already compromised from inside, holding negative feelings, resentment, anger, pain, other burdens, unresolved trauma that you’ve not fully healed and released. These wounds can either be recent or from childhood conditioning. The virus simply came along and heightened the pre-existing factor.

However, if someone has not yet cultivated objective thinking and they get too wrapped up in their sentimentality or ego when they look at their inner wounds, they may not even acknowledge the issues simply because they aren’t ready for the soul healing to take place. You are the only one that can allow full healing, inside and outside.

People tend to take offense about honest inner work when they are not prepared to face the truth. There’s victim mentality, and excessive focus on the problems which are emotionally, mentally draining. They desire for quick fixes and lean towards drugs, anti-depressants, etc. Alas! They are temporary solutions.

As someone who has faced depression from 2015-18, I never relied on medicines to heal me. I had come to the point where I saw no meaning and joy in my life. I was going through a dark night of the soul and a very rude awakening. Only when I decided to transform and let my old-self die, I began seeing slowly where I had given my own power away. I had to be blatantly truthful with myself, seeing my own flaws, meanwhile learning to nurture my inner child that harbored some painful memories since childhood.

I clearly had some parental wounds. I had to forgive myself and others for the physical or emotional abuse I went through. A lot had to be healed and it was necessary for my spiritual growth. Now, I even understand the greater purpose behind my suffering. It deepened my empathy and healing gifts. My pain, resentment from a few years back has been replaced by immense gratitude now. It’s all exactly where it needs to be.

We try to fit each other in a box of “normal” and “acceptable behavior”. What is “normal” anyway? What gives someone the authority to decide and why? God is the embodiment of every aspect you see out there, and when you reject something as unacceptable, it means you haven’t accepted fully God for what he is. When you detest the disease that is showing up in your face, it means you are turning away from what needs to soften within you.

If you are terrified of death, it means your healing is around detachment from your physical vessel. You are being taught the impermanence of this reality, and the eternity of your soul. One day we all will die when God wills it. We won’t leave if it’s not our time yet. Some people go through near-death experiences for the same reason. We can be all locked up inside our homes, but if death has to find us, it will be offered to us anyway.

These are some extremely triggering and painful insights. I often question myself, “How would I react if someone I loved died in front of my eyes?”I imagine myself detached, trying to stay neutral even when my heart would be in pieces. Maybe I would close my eyes at the spot, say a silent prayer for the soul’s peaceful journey in the afterworld. I’ve somehow prepared myself for some harsh universal truths and I don’t know my response until it shows up.

Are you now able to connect the dots here? Are you able to see the lesson involved bigger than this material world illusion?

If we have not widened our spiritual vision, we can easily get caught up in the cycles of suffering and may lose our connection from the higher truth, which has existed right from the time of creation. When our body is struggling with a disease, and if our willpower to change is fuelled simultaneously with God’s plans for us to live, it becomes a sign for our soul to attain the mind, body, and spirit balance.

The desired changes can be anything: eating healthy; meditating every day; journaling down our feelings and not suppressing/avoiding them; exercising according to our doshas(Refer to ayurvedic wisdom); proper sleep routine; healthy emotional/mental behavior; pursuing a path we are passionate about; etc. One needs to do some serious reflection and inner work to observe where they are holding themselves back, and what restricting belief system one carries. If required, take the help of a healer/mentor who guides you without making you dependent on external drugs.

Nowadays we mindlessly consume processed food items. Learn to prepare meals from scratch. Consume whole grains, fresh fruits, and vegetables. If milk, eggs, or meat hasn’t come from a local farm (where it has not been obviously commercialized), try not to consume it. Processed food contains toxic substances, preservatives, and artificial flavors, which negatively impact your immunity. So, be careful to read the labels for ingredients before buying anything.

There are no quick remedies for any disease. Maybe one can suppress it temporarily through drugs and medicines, but if the root cause has not been resolved, that disease can reappear. Dis-ease means clearly your soul is out of ease with something. It takes self-mastery to stop chasing things that destroy your overall wellness. In a world full of various distractions, it is your responsibility as a soul to take a holistic approach to everything. The alchemy you will go through will be astounding.

We talk about God, prayers, religious beliefs, and take offense when someone disagrees with our narrative. But have we ever tried to fully understand God? Sometimes, we act with him as an insolent child or a selfish friend. We want him to provide for us everything, but we don’t want to give back pure commitment and devotion. My idea of devotion is different from what all the religions teach. It’s not about how many times you pray, what strict rules and dogmas you follow.

My connection to God is through unconditional love. It’s about simply knowing in your heart that he is with you all the time. Talk to him, love him, adore him, form a personal bond with him. You will have to practice true devotion beyond ego and enamored in divine passion, to completely understand what it means. Words can fall short.

With your resolute faith, you need to keep moving with determination and ask for his company and love, when you face hardships. God is omnipresent. He is not only sitting somewhere at the top, but he is also by your side. He is boundless, loving, playful, joyous, compassionate, but he also embodies darkness very well. He is the yogi of the highest order, and I can simply hope that humans put greater effort into understanding his creation.

When we are blinded by Maya,” the material world illusion”, we won’t see God around us. The simpler we become, liberate ourselves from meaningless drama, and get in touch with our pristine nature, we begin to see God everywhere. As much as we pray to him, we also begin loving him with an open heart.

What path we choose to follow, no one can force us into that. God only creates situations in our lives according to our Prarabdha: our karmic debts, and destiny. If we stay steadfast, we find the key to higher consciousness. If we resist and blame, we never break free from the earthly cycle.